Sunday, April 24, 2016

Lunatic

“Need a light?”

The detective across the table held the Zippo up in offering. Jeff stuck the butt in his face and nodded, leaning across the table. Detective Schmidt or something like that. Jeff nodded his thanks as he casually leaned back in his chair.

“Jeff, you came here to tell us something right.”

“Right.” Jeffery nodded, taking a deep drag. It was his first since that night. The story he had to tell. It was a doozy alright. It was a right fucking tale for sure.

“Don't waste our time kid.” The detective ran his fingers over his mustache. Jeff thought for a moment the dude looked like a square. Hair parted neatly off center. Perfectly groomed mustache. Brown suit. Jeff wasn't so sure he wanted to tell this story to the cop. It was likely he wouldn't be believed. That he'd be called a liar right to his face. Cause Jeff would. Jeff would call him a liar if the tables were turned.

“You're going to think I am bonkers regardless. So maybe...what the fuck's the point?” Jeff snubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray slid over from the detective's side.

“Oh for the love of...this isn't some TV show. You aren't in trouble. We got six dead kids torn up down by the river. We know it sure wasn't you Jeff. Shit kid, it'd take a man 3 times your size pumped up on adrenaline to do what was done down there. All I know is we found your car down there. So tell me Jeff what the hell happened. I know you were down there.” Detective Schmidt leaned forward and jabbed his finger on the table to emphasize his point. Jeff sighed and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Guess he just had to go at it like a bull elephant...

It was a just a little...initiation that was all. For the new kids. We kidnap a couple a young teens out at make out point and we put them through the ringer for the night. We only...mentally fucked with them ya know? Scared them half to death. Maybe a bit o' bruising if they decided to fight us.

It was Ralphie's idea to take them down to the boat ramp this time. There were a couple of hooks down there still in the old harbor. Easy to chain them to. We make them think we're gonna kill 'em. The new kids would take turns making threats. Gestures. You know what I'm talking about? Most the time they'd piss themselves. Sometimes they'd toughen up. Those are the ones we'd get a bit rougher with too. But...shit, nothing permanent. Oh but that night. It was different. First time I'd ever done it with a full moon. Didn't even need our headlights.

Ralphie chained them to the dock and at this point they didn't fight us at all. I found that strange. They didn't even look us in the eye. Or beg for their life. Nothing. I mean, nada. So the new kid, big angry brute. By the name of...Stewart or Stanley. Or something. Anyway this big lug he's checking out the chick like he's gonna eat her pussy right there in front of us all. Ralphie pulls him aside.

“We ain't here for that. You're gonna scare her. That's all.” But the big lug just lets it pass through one ear. And out the other. I watched as he approached her and thought “Maybe we should stop him, get him out of here” He failed. That's all I knew already. He failed. And as he grabbed her arm I knew it was over. We were way in over our heads.

“Let her go.” I remember that voice, clear as day. The man we had tied up was tall. Portly fella. Wore glasses at one point they fell off though. Kind of reminded me of a sea captain. Beard only grew on his neck. The girl with him was a pretty little thing. I could see the lugs lust and why but...that wasn't what we was there for.

“Or what fatty?” The girl this time took initiative and spit in Stanley's face. That's when he hit her. We charged in to stop him but it was too late. He had smacked her heard enough for her neck to make a large snapping sound. Like a twig ya know? I almost threw up. We had never hurt anyone like that. The other big guy snapped against his chains at Stanley and screamed at him. A scream I'd never heard anyone make. Like...a monster. Stanley hit him then too, knocking him back on his ass. He rolled over on his stomach and laid there. I could see the moons come out from the clouds now to brighten up the place. I could see blood sprayed across them. Stanley in a rage breathing over the broken teens. I didn't know what to do. How do you stop someone like that? The rest of us, Ralphie, Javie, Melvin, Torry. We all just watched. We were weak. We couldn't stop him. And the big guy tied up. He went down in one punch. What was left?

That's when I watched the big guy look up at the moon over his shoulder. And he stood up. And the grin on his face wasn't a happy one. You could just tell. Someone was going to die. By that smile alone.
The first swing broke the chains, and hit ole Stuart in the face with both hands. Then the prisoner, man I never learnt his name...snapped our cuffs off like they was nothing. Stanley tripped backwards, blood pouring out of his face. How hard did he hit him? I didn't know. I just watched as he put both hands on Stuart's...Stanley. What the fuck ever man, it won't matter here in a second. He rips...He rips the poor bastards head right off his shoulders. Just pulls it right off like he was picking a pumpkin. Everyone ran at that point but...that was stupid. I was frozen. I watched as he grabbed Javie's leg and twisted it off. I watched as he caught up with Melvin and clobbered him with it. Finally finishing him off with a good stomp. Ralphie was trying to get his car started but it seemed like the battery had died. Torry was trying to swim for it. The big guy walks casually. Like it was just the normal day at the beach. And holds him under. We stared at him for five whole minutes while drowned Torry.

Shit man, you know the rest. Don't you? He tore the door off Ralphie's car. And I just fucking froze. God dammit.

Schmidt cleared his throat as Jeff started to cry. Knowing the local riff raff like he did he knew that it wasn't an easy thing to do. Being tough...hell he still had a hard time doing it. Letting his emotions run freely. And there were times...like the last month...where he thought he could cry too. The massacre at the river had been...like nothing he had ever seen. He had read stories but none of them were true. An invincible lunatic?
Jeff finally cleared his throat and wiped his tears away to clear his vision.
“You got another butt man?”
“Sure.” Detective Schmidt reached once again across the table and handed him another cigarette. In the other hand he gave him the zippo. Jeff lit up with trembling hands. Schmidt let him cool down now. He had heard enough to piece it together. One thing still bothered him. Why had he let Jeff live?

“Why you kid?”
“Whaddya mean?” He took another long drag.
“Why did he let you live. I mean, shit. You were the smallest of your friends. Easy pickens.”

Jeff cleared his throat and sat forward. “He said someone needed to tell the story. He said nobody would be able to know what happened if he didn't let one of us go. So I booked it. Before he could really change his mind. I watched as I topped the hill...I watched him pick up his dead girl and run into the bushes. You guys really haven't found him yet?”

“Why do you think you're in here? Because we have this wrapped all nicely up in a bow? Jeffery this is pretty serious stuff. Not to mention what you and your buddies did...”

"So I am in trouble then?"

"I'm afraid so. At least til we get this straightened out."

"I fucking knew it. Whatever man."

He knew what he was getting coming in here. Kidnapping. Accessory? Maybe. He didn't know well enough. All he knew was this was his last cig as a free man. He put it out. No more smoking for him. No. That was something a free man should do. Holding out his hands, wrist together, he offered himself up to Detective Schmidt.

“I know what needs to happen now Schmidt.” Smiling he nodded at the officer. “Let's get this over with.”

Detective Schmidt led Jeff away from the police station across the court yard where the holding cells were located. And about the center Jeff looked over his right shoulder up at the full moon. And once again a grin went across his face. He could feel it coursing through his veins now. Of course why hadn't he realized it before?

The guy at the river was a lunatic.

Straight A, no fooling lunatic.

The very word echoed in his mind as he snapped the hand cuffs apart.

Sleep In

I want to sleep in.

I want to sleep in and awake from my dreams naturally, watching them end. I want to awake with a smile and a stretch, to silence. To a fan. To music playing on the radio. I want to have breakfast. Warm, tasty, delicious. Cold, familiar, crisp. I want to watch Saturday Morning Cartoons. I want to take a long hot shower and dress in clothes that fit. I want to brush my teeth and rinse with mouth wash. I want to stay inside and read. Read the classic words that inspired modern words. I want to read stories that defined generations, defined genres, defined people. Defined worlds. I want to watch movies. I want to see what my parents had seen. I want to watch them through their eyes with so much wonder.

I want to leave.

I want to drive, anywhere but here. I want to go North or West and find the mountains. Find the oceans. Find the worlds left behind by the yesteryear. Find the buildings, find the proof of their existence. I want to explore the natural beauty, the natural wonders. The rocks, trees, rivers and animals. I want to discover the ocean. I want to run barefoot down the beach. I want to be chased. I want to laugh with someone. I want to lay and watch the stars and wonder about what they could mean. I want to see constellations. I want to make love on a blanket under this amazing sight. I want to breath in the sea air.

I want to know.

I want to know what it feels like. I want to know forever. I want to know what it's like to plan, to worry, to work. I want to know what it's like knowing my last kiss. I want the covers stolen, I want the bathroom counter invaded. I want water bottles on my floor board. Fancy air fresheners on my mirror. I want cute little texts and ones telling me to bring home milk. I want to argue and make up. I want to hold hands. I want to cuddle and watch movies. I want to pop the question.

I want to grow up.
I want to say I do. I want to cross the threshold. I want to promise forever. I want to run to the store at midnight and hold hair back at six in the morning. I want to wake up to crying, to giggles. To questions. I want to watch Saturday Morning cartoons. I want to read out loud the stories that defined generations. Genres. My childhood. I want to show the movies the way I enjoyed them. With so much wonder. I want to grow old. I want to watch as they feel this way. I want to watch them repeat. And I want to go with my loved ones around me.

I want to sleep in.

Trivial

You're going to fight.

It'll be over an off handed comment you made about a dish towel.
It'll be over a disagreement on how you should spend your time in the wilderness.
It'll be over her gambling.
It'll be over how you drive.
It'll be over money. Or the kids. Or the in laws.

And you'll tear into each other. You'll dredge up things to hurt each other. Or you just feel it's time to discuss these matters. And they'll last for hours. Your heart will be ripped out more than once. And you'll cry. And sometimes you will go to bed angry. Sometimes you won't say I love you to each other. And sometimes, just sometimes, you'll leave. Or she'll leave. And either one will hurt you more than you'll admit to yourself. And you'll wonder if it's worth it.

She'll get sick. And you'll have to stay home from your weekly card game to take care of her. You'll have to stay home from work. You won't get to just leave whenever. You'll have to watch her stupid girly shows and you'll have to cook for her. And get medicine for her. And clean up messes if she doesn't make it to the bathroom in time. You'll have to hold her hair. You may even have to wash it for her. You won't get any sleep. Sometimes you'll have to skip work. Sometimes you'll go with no rest.

You won't get a moment alone. She'll be in your home. Your life won't be just yours anymore. It'll be yours together. Every decision, every purchase, every single act will be yours together. No longer can you think for just one. You have to think of how this will affect the both of you.

Going out will not be the same. You won't be able to just talk to a random woman anymore. At least not the same way you did before. You won't be able to spend as many late nights with your buddies. You will have to make more time for her. You'll lose your individuality. Your friends will think you're ignoring them. You may even lose a few of them.

This is forever. This is what you have to look forward to every day. This, imprisoning, jailing relationship. You'll be tied down. This. Is. Forever.

If you can read this. If you can see all of these possibilities and scoff. If you think this is stupid and how every little negative I've listed is trivial. That no matter what if this happens, it won't change how you feel about her...then you're in love. And that's what it's all about. It won't make the terrible things go away. It just makes them...

Trivial.